its been so long since the last post; I wonder if you'd read back again, if you'd secretly wish that there would be something for you to read, from me.
I've done many bad stuffs to you, and I think its time for me to make up to you.
Maybe I should pen it down here, what made me change my mind, and come back to a place I'm so afraid to be in...
NOT being with you took a lot of energy, a lot of self deceiving which I was really tired of. I told myself I need to get outta this, to be fair to myself. Yes, I'm sorry I used my brains to love you and I shouldn't have. I had to put you through so much pain and agony for what I thought it was best for me; I was being really selfish.
**PLEASE STOP STARING AT MY SCREEN**
You know what went wrong? We broke up, we told each other I'm "over you"; "seeing someone"; but we ended up fighting over and over again (I must say periodically) and when I finally stop using my brain, my hearts telling me; "what took you so long, to feel?" It wasn't easy for me to get used to being alone; I cry every single time I get a chance to, at movies, dramas or in the toilet. I didn't like to be not around you, I couldn't get used to independence. I had crushes and whats not; but you're have been my soft spot. All these while, the flings, the intimacy was something I could not even avoid. I'm addicted to you darling. Everything you did for me was total "melting me max". You were there all the time when I had no one to turn to; or when I don't feel like talking to anyone. You knew what my conditions were, and was (and I hope always will) there to nurse all my illness, let me get back on my feet.
I've been looking for unconditional love; I never knew I already found you, my unconditional love. I just wanna say I'm really really sorry for all the hurt I've cause, and I don't wanna miss out on your life ever again. Ups and Down, we can face them together.
Baby; I want to be yours again, I want you to be mine again. I wanna hear you say you love me; again until the end of time. I'm working on "no commitment" cause I want you, just to myself. I wanna prove to you, I'm worthy for you to let go of the whole world; just to be together with ME.
I LOVE YOU; and I could only say that to you. <3