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yesterdays.
Our times together has been rough; I wonder if you're feeling this way too. After reflecting time and time again, all I exchanged was tears, I'm just feeling very heavy inside me. School has been tough on me, and when things goes wrong between us, it just feels so bad in me. I had some close friends to buck me up, but somehow I knew I needed you to make me feel better.
Yeah I know, when you see this you must be thinking, if I needed you all the time you'd be so busy just to make me feel better. But somehow I juts can't control this feeling inside me, this instict that tells me to turn to you when I'm down.
You know, actually the reason why you wouldn't attend my family dinner was very obvious? You make me feel that you didn't like my family, but can you tell me why? You're rejecting my family so much nowadays. Sometimes I just wished you go, because its so hard to find excuses to cover you up for your absence. And when you go, I actually feel much better. Know sometimes my sister would brag about something that makes peple love her more? Yeah, I'd throw my temper/say very sarcastic stuffs infront of you, but actually I feel very very hurt and jealous inside me.
Family stuffs aside; I know I have very little friends, and that I have so much free time that it is all dedicated to you. Perhaps it all decreased because I wnated to spend time with you, I don't want to be sticky too; its just that I yearn to see you because all I can expect is weekends. And I'd flare up because I can't see you having the urge to meet up with me. It's quite hurting to know that I'm only seeing you once a week and that you actually don't mind at all. You ask me to get more friends so that when you're out I'm not all alone. But what if both of us are so often out with our friends that it resulted in us drifting apart? I really don't want to loose you just like that.
I try my best to put up a brave front, to show you that I'm SUPER BUSY with my life that I've no time for you. The more I do that the heavier my heart feels.
Now I just don't know what I should do.
1. To listen to you and risk us being drifted OR
2. Stay on and be there when you're free.
I'm in a great dilemma now.
突然间，我很需要你的安慰；让我有能力打一场自己不会赢的仗。
yourBITCH.
time;10:34 PM
name: the BASTARD & the BITCH
ever SINCE: 25 NOV 2005
Christmas & first MONTH anniversary! 251205
BASTARD's bdae 180686
BITCH's bdae 020788
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